Negative Thoughts are a Positive Thing

An excerpt from Janet McKee’s newest book, Stressless Success: The Surprising Secrets to a Life of Passion, Purpose and Prosperity

“Don’t wait for the money to relax, relax and the money will come.” —Alice Hirsch, Ph.D. 

impossible-blocksWhat would your life be like if you chose to live with joy today?

Really…

What would it be like?

I’ll bet many of you think: Well, it would be quite different but I can’t get there right now emotionally. I have all of these problems in my life that keep me from feeling joy. Or, some of you may say that you’re fine but I ask you, is “fine” acceptable? Wouldn’t extraordinary be better?

What if you made the decision today to be extraordinary?

What if you made the decision today to feel feelings of joy?

Do you know that it is actually possible? You make the choice. The way you feel is something that you have complete control over. I’m not saying it is always easy but I want you to know that it is a choice that you have.

I recently experienced a heartbreaking situation with a close friend of mine. I was in San Diego on business at more coaching certification training but my heart was heavy because of this friend. So sure, I had every reason to feel sad.

Then one morning, while walking into the conference, I stopped and realized that I was walking with my head down and facing the ground. I stopped myself and looked up. When I did, I realized all of the amazing beauty that was around me; everything from the sun shining, the flowers and the leaves on the trees, the sound of the birds singing, and the water flowing at a distant fountain.

At that moment, my heart lifted. I turned my focus to something that was amazing that was right there in front of me waiting for me to experience it. I suddenly thought to myself, “Wow, life is amazing. Thank you, God.” That moment of gratitude triggered feelings of joy. I realized at that moment that this was something I had been practicing and I began to smile.

I always say I love to travel but I hate to fly. It always made me a bit nervous to be in that tin can up in the air zooming through the sky, and it was always the takeoff and landing that seemed to scare me the most.

Well, on the flight out to San Diego, I caught myself. I realized as we were about to descend onto the runway that if these were going to be my last moments of life, why am I choosing to be nervous? Why don’t I enjoy these few moments because if for some reason they are my last, I better make the most of them.

I then began to realize what I was actually doing. I’m flying. Through the air! How incredible is that? This airplane takes me to visit other amazing cities where I meet amazing people, and here I am like a bird flying through the air!

So, I began to imagine that I was a bird and was soaring through the sky with my wings out and how exhilarating it must feel to be a bird. Those moments that I usually live in terror became the most incredible, uplifting, and exhilarating moments. My soul was in bliss instead of worry and concern.

Wouldn’t that be how you would want to live your last moments if they were your last? Well, these aren’t your last moments. You have many glorious moments ahead of you if you choose. We can’t control what is happening around us. We believe that we can’t control what others do or say. I had no control over that plane and pilot and whether we were going to land safely. But I had complete control over my attitude and my thoughts at that moment.

I’m not saying that there won’t be things that happen that bring you down. What I am saying is that as soon as you’re ready, after you felt the feelings that you had to feel, make a better choice. Look around and see how amazing your life is at every moment. Look at all of the gifts that are there for you.

I began to realize how blessed and fortunate I was. I was at a very intense conference where every day was 12 hours long with only one real break for lunch. But I met the most incredible people, fellow coaches from around the world.

I met people from Canada, the U.K., Italy, Holland, Mexico, Austria, Germany, Australia, Denmark, Afghanistan, Amsterdam, Brazil, and Sverrir from Iceland! These people all had such an amazing command of the English language; the least I could do was try to pronounce their names correctly!

Each educational session began with exciting motivational and fun music, so each time I went to the front of the conference room and danced my heart out, whether my heart was feeling heavy or not. It not only brought me joy to not worry about what others might think of my dancing, but others who were dancing too came up to me and said that watching me dance without inhibitions brought them incredible joy.

The joy you feel ripples out into the world.

What feelings are rippling out from you today?

What would your day be like if you chose to live with joy? 

What would your life be like if you chose joy every day? 

You set goals and strive for greater levels in various areas of your life because you believe that once you achieve these goals, you will be happy. As I describe in my book, Stressless Success, it is your thoughts that you choose that create the feelings that generate the energy that you are giving off. And, it is this energy vibration that creates the frequency that you dial into that either allows great opportunities to happen for you or blocks them. So, it is your ability to live with higher feeling thoughts, of happiness and joy, for example, that is essential to achieving your goals. What you are thinking about creates feelings that generate your vibration, and your vibration creates your future, so whatever you are thinking about and feeling is how you are planning your future.

You know when you are happy and you’re feeling fabulous, you feel like you can do almost anything. You know on those days when you wake up feeling great that the entire day tends to go great. It is the level of happiness that helps you to have clear thinking and more energy and you are more productive. Well, happiness is actually a choice. You are picky about possibly the food you eat, or the clothes you wear, or the car you drive; but you need to be most picky about the thoughts you choose. So many people tell me that they can’t think a better thought right now because such-and-such is happening in their life. Many say they must look at their reality and they feel that much is out of their control. I know you feel that you can’t always control what others do or say. If you are waiting for someone to change so that you feel better, then you are giving your power away. However, you do have complete control over your own thoughts and emotions, and once you change the way you feel, others will treat you differently.

So, if looking at your reality makes you feel bad, then you are choosing to feel bad, which will hold your vibration at that level. Your current reality is actually a reflection of past thoughts that you chose and the energy that those thoughts dialed into. What you are observing impacts your energy vibration. Many people allow what they are observing to affect their mood and emotions. You must recognize that you no longer have to just observe reality because you have the power to create your reality. So, do you want to keep looking at your current reality and continue to feel bad, which will keep you in a bad-feeling current reality, or do you want to create a new reality? Stop telling it like it is and start describing how you want it to be. Find ways to reach for slightly better feeling thoughts regardless of the situation, even if you must turn your attention to a different subject altogether.

I surprise people when I tell them that negative thoughts are actually a positive thing. Negative emotions, like worry, fear, or frustration, are gifts from God, letting you know that you are getting off your path. You are driving down the highway toward the desired destination for your life. You’re enjoying the scenery and you begin to daydream and you hit the rumble strips on the side of the road. They are there alerting you to the fact that you are getting off course. They feel a bit uncomfortable. These are like negative feelings that are part of your internal GPS showing you where you are headed. Positive feelings are an indication that you are on your path to what you want for your life, and negative feelings are the warning sign showing you that you are not. Your feelings and emotions are the key to this. If you are feeling bad, you’re hitting your rumble strips and getting off course, so you must stop and readjust before you drive off the cliff. This is a very good thing. It is far more difficult to readjust and get back on course toward your goals once you’ve gone off the cliff. Your emotions, not just your thoughts, are the key to identifying which direction you are heading.

Don’t fight against negative thoughts and feelings because this gives them power. You may have heard before that what you resist persists. When you realize that negative feelings are there to help you know that you are getting off your path, you can begin to relax, appreciate them for what they are, and begin to choose new thoughts to crowd them out. They no longer have power over you. And remember, repetition of the new thoughts will change your brain pathways and create better feeling energies.

Recognize that negative situations fuel our desire for something better. If our ultimate goal in life is to feel good and these situations do not feel good, then we are inspired to search for solutions. Our difficulties and challenges of life are what drives us to positive action. This is another very good thing about negative thoughts. Negativity is truly a positive thing when it drives us to respond with positive forward action.

The time is NOW for you to make that shift, and it is simply done by paying attention to your thoughts and creating new ones that feel better. Again, when you feel better, you allow new solutions and opportunities to arise instead of blocking them with fear and doubt.

Longing for something comes from a feeling of lack, and stress and struggle come from not trusting and believing. Just like a farmer planting a seed, he knows and trusts that over time, the seed will germinate and grow into a plant that will eventually bear fruit. He knows, believes, and trusts the process and is patient. He also knows that the environment needs to be right in order for his desires to manifest into beautiful plants and nourishing foods. The same is with your desires for your life.

“Enough already,” you may be thinking. “Janet, how do I do this when happiness is so elusive?” I often say this is simple but not always easy. But again, I’m not asking you to climb Mt. Everest. You don’t have to pay a hefty price for success. All you need to do is to practice focusing your thoughts so that you create good-feeling energy and then move forward with positive action.

“You earn with your attitude.”  —Esther Hicks

Be aware that you have the power to focus on feeling good, even before you have the evidence that what you want has arrived. Feel as if it already is. Feel it coming instead of the lack of it. Think about your goals coming to you in a way that you feel them in anticipation of them being there.

Focusing on the feeling instead of the thought is powerful because the feeling has less resistance. Thoughts open you up to thinking the opposite of what you want to think. Again, every coin has two sides. For example, hope has a trace of doubt in it, but the feeling of knowing and believing are powerful. Instead of the common phrase, “You must see it to believe it,” and deeper than what other wise people have said, “You must believe it to see it,” I am now teaching you the ultimate secret and that is, “You must feel it to see it.” The feeling is the endgame.

Positivity paves the Pathway to Progress and Prosperity.

Don’t wait until you’re completely down and out to begin trying to pull yourself out of the ravine. Do things preemptively to cultivate happiness. Every day, do something positive before bed, sleep well, wake rested, and think or say positive statements that feel good such as “This is going to be the best day of my life,” and feel it as if it is. Set positive intentions for your day and be sure to pay attention to what you say to yourself and how those thoughts make you feel all throughout the day.

Practice visualizing your new reality. Stop giving your full attention to your current reality if it doesn’t feel good or this will block your ability to visualize. Worrying is visualizing what you do not want so turn toward appreciation instead. If you have a challenging situation, begin to reach for a feeling of relief. Focus on what you do want and this will begin to crowd out what you do not want.

Begin by accepting the situation. It has happened and is now in the past. Acceptance is at a neutral level in the ladder of low-to-high vibration energies. Try to release all struggle since this does not serve you or help the situation, then begin to expect the best. Learn to develop more resilience. Release your attempt to control outside people and circumstances and stay in your power. Try to be more playful and have fun with this. Nothing is the end of the world—really. Make mundane or even difficult tasks into a game and have fun and don’t forget to smile often. Begin to live with deliberate positivity and watch what happens. Practice feeling the feeling of it and feel the power and clarity that comes from this good feeling.

When you have a challenging situation that arises, which will continue to happen, do this simple exercise. Think about something you love and appreciate. Get the good feeling that thought generates and hold onto it. Now think about the topic that is concerning you and find something to appreciate about it and get a good feeling again. It is always easier to handle challenges when you begin from a good place first, which is why it needs to be a daily practice to feel good. Once you find your happy place, stay there as long as you can and allow it to become a part of you. You must expand your thinking (which expands your energy vibration) to expand your life. You have control over your destiny, and when you learn and practice ways to feel good, this is ultimate freedom.

Sometimes we need extra help. Get support from therapists or practitioners that help you to release old negative patterns and move forward with a sense of relief. Find a success coach, like myself, and use prayer or meditation to find a place of peace and no resistance from within. Learn to walk away from any situation that is uncomfortable or turn your focus to something else such as nature or great music or someone or something you love. Do whatever it takes to climb your energy vibration ladder one rung at a time.

“Happiness isn’t being cheerful all the time; it’s being interested in things—finding out more about something, learning how to appreciate something better, incorporating something new that fits with what you already have.”

—John Sharp, psychiatrist at Harvard Medical School 

You may speak about the gap between your current and your desired state, but don’t hang out in the gap or continue to give it the energy of your thoughts and words. Enter your desired state deliberately, even if it is just in your imagination, and live there as often as possible. The secret to life is to feel happily optimistic as much as possible. You are meant to live a life of passion, positivity, and purpose and have many moments of clarity, enthusiasm, love, and joy. Accept that you are worthy of all of this and more and you will no longer feel a need to prove it.

Let yourself be who you truly are at your essence, which is a being of pure positivity and joy. Learn to live in joy because that is who you truly are at your eternal soul level. That greater eternal part of you that is always with you only lives in pure peace, love, and joy. This is why negative thoughts feel so bad because you are getting away from who you truly are at your core. (Be sure to read my next book about tapping into your unending source of joy.)

Sing your praises by listing and focusing on all of your good qualities and traits. Self-criticism blocks progress so begin to fall in love with you. Be grateful always and appreciate all of the large and little things in your life and appreciate others too. Be open to receive the fruits of your fabulous feelings.

Stop setting goals because there is only one true goal to ever set and that is not to just think happy thoughts but rather to be happy. Happiness is the key to success, and true success is day-to-day happiness because from there, you are more in the flow and then everything flows to you. 

“If you had one goal, and that was to feel good, you would never again need to hear another word from anyone. You would live successfully and happily and in a way of fulfilling your life’s purpose ever after.”  —Esther Hicks

Secrets to Success

  • It is this energy vibration that creates the frequency that you dial into that either allows great opportunities to happen for you or blocks them. So, it is your ability to live with higher feeling thoughts, of happiness and joy, for example, that is essential to achieving your goals.
  • Negative emotions, like worry, fear, or frustration, are actually gifts from God, letting you know that you are getting off your path. Don’t fight against negative thoughts and feelings because this gives them power. Recognize too that negative situations fuel our desire for something better.
  • Positive feelings are an indication that you are on your path to what you want for your life. Your emotions, not just your thoughts, are the key to identifying which direction you are heading.
  • Be aware that you have the power to focus on feeling good, even before you have the evidence that what you want has arrived. Feel as if it already is. Feel it coming instead of the lack of it. Think about your goals coming to you in a way that you feel them in anticipation of them being there.
  • Focusing on the feeling instead of the thought is powerful because the feeling has less resistance. Thoughts open you up to thinking the opposite of what you want to think.
  • Do things preemptively to cultivate happiness. It is always easier to handle challenges when you begin from a good place first, which is why it needs to be a daily practice to feel good.
  • You have control over your destiny, and when you learn and practice ways to feel good, this is ultimate freedom.
  • Learn to walk away from any situation that is uncomfortable or turn your focus to something else such as nature or great music or someone or something you love. Do whatever it takes to climb your energy vibration ladder one rung at a time.
  • Let yourself be who you truly are at your essence, which is a being of pure positivity and joy. Learn to live in joy because that is who you truly are at your eternal soul level. That greater eternal part of you that is always with you only lives in pure peace, love, and joy.
  • The secret to life is to feel happily optimistic as much as possible. You are meant to live a life of passion, positivity, and purpose and have many moments of clarity, enthusiasm, love, and joy. Accept that you are worthy of all of this and more and you will no longer feel a need to prove it. Stop setting goals because there is only one true goal to ever set and that is to be happy.


Janet McKee

Janet McKee

Janet McKee, High-Performance ™ Success Coach, Wellness Expert, Motivational Speaker, Best-Selling Author and CEO of SanaView, is on a mission to help you lead a more successful life, both professionally and personally. As one of only 200 elite Certified High-Performance Coaches™ in the world and an inducted member of the National Association of Experts, Writers and Speakers, she is the creator of the acclaimed Accelerated High Performance Program, which offers a variety of methods to ensure that you reach success in every area of your business and your life.Teaching proven methods to achieve greater levels of energy, motivation, joy, and confidence are the keys to her success in helping others. Learn more about the upcoming Accelerated High-Performance retreats or contact Ms. McKee directly at (724) 417-6695 or janet@sanaview.com

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