“If you want to lose weight, just eat in front of a mirror naked.”
Like me, you may find this quote to be humorous, but do you think that goal setting is a bunch of baloney? Have you tried setting goals in the past but found that doing so never helped you improve areas of your life? Of course, you feel this way because you never learned what I am about to teach you: the breakthroughs in goal setting and achievement that I’ve discovered. These are the strategies for success that finally work. Yes, these are built on solid foundations that we’ve all learned before, but the extra nuances that I will share with you will catapult you from struggling to meet your goals to actually achieving success and in the most enjoyable and fulfilling ways than you ever imagined.
In order to live a life of what I have termed, Stressless Success, which is the title of my upcoming book, it is helpful to gain clarity about what you actually want to achieve. One common way is by writing down your goals because we tend to measure our success by our ability to achieve our goals. Perhaps you’ve been to goal-setting workshops or have read books or articles on the subject. This is great because it reinforces the idea that you must create a plan for your life by thinking clearly about what you want to achieve, acquire, and attain. We see a lot of this happening in the new year especially with new year’s resolutions.
With all of this focus and activity around goal setting, why is it that, according to the Statistic Brain Research Institute, 92% of people never reach their goals? I’ll explain why that is the case and then explain brand new ideas that you most likely never considered that will increase the likelihood of not only achieving but also exceeding what you wish for in your life and of course, with less stress.
I’ve done the legwork for you by researching and trying out the various concepts in goal setting and success, then added my own incredible insights to make the teaching more powerful and effective. Now, I’m sharing this strategy with you to help you improve your life. Finally, a unique yet proven plan for you to follow. And if one of your goals is to lose weight, please know that the way to achieve that is NOT eating in front of the mirror naked!
Are you ready to see your dreams come to life and improve ALL areas of your life?
What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail?
What is one thing you would try if you believed in yourself today?
If there were no limitations, what would you wish for?
These questions may be too far-fetched to even contemplate answering, but they’re an important beginning. I want you to open your mind and allow in amazing thoughts, feelings, and emotions as you begin to expand your thinking and your energy on this journey of creating and achieving an amazing life.
You’ve all heard this before, but we need to start with the first very important point, and that is you must write down your goals. By writing down your goals, you gain clarity and encourage your brain to start thinking about ways to make these happen.
Studies have shown that writing down your goals is one of the keys to achieving them.
It has been shown that successful goal-oriented people who write down their goals have an 80% chance of achieving them, versus the standard population where only 8% reach their goals.
Consider creating goals that cover all areas of your life including your physical and emotional health and well-being, your relationships, your career, or whatever you do to contribute to the world, your finances, and your spiritual life or any other specific area that is important to you. In my work as a High Performance Success Coach, it has been found that the people who live the most successful lives work on all areas of their life. They strive to have success in both their professional and personal lives and they do what they need to do to ensure greater levels in all areas.
Recently, I was honored to be a contributing expert author in a best-selling book titled, Ready Set Go, with Brian Tracy, who is a long-standing success expert. In that book, Brian suggests that you write at least 10 goals, and these goals should be written in the present tense as if they are already achieved.
Stating your goals in the NOW triggers thoughts and feelings in your mind and body that better prepare you for having those actually be your current reality. You don’t want to project your goal achievement into the future by stating “you want” or “you wish” or “someday will have” because then you will always be looking into the future to achieve those goals. Do you always want to lose weight or would you rather be thin? If you say “want,” you will likely only achieve the goal or end-state of always wanting.
For example, instead of saying, “I want to quit smoking,” you would write, “I am a nonsmoker.” Instead of writing, “I want to lose weight,” consider instead something like, “I am thin or I weigh XXX pounds.” Don’t use the word “want” or any word that represents current lack in hopes of future gain. If you do not feel comfortable stating, “I am,” then choose options such as “I allow” or “I accept” or “I have.” Feeling somewhat comfortable with what you are stating is critical, even though the goals will push you forward in life. Choose words that create a feeling of pride, abundance, accomplishment, peace, and joy. Say something like, “I am a successful entrepreneur. I am financially independent.” If it is all too far-fetched for you and it feels uncomfortable instead of exciting, then choose something that even though it is a goal, it is something you can begin to believe. Consider saying, “I am making healthier choices every day that encourage high energy and my perfect weight.” The important thing is that you create thoughts that feel good to you.
Also, determine a clear deadline for you achieving the goal and hold yourself accountable. According to John Assaraf, a speaker, author, and brain researcher, urgency and deadlines create a situation where you must get done what you set out to do, like packing for a vacation. You must have those bags packed and you and your bags to the airport on time to go on your trip. Without that deadline, it just may never get done. For example, “I am a nonsmoker starting today and every day throughout year 20XX.” “I earn $X by December 31, 20XX.”
In High Performance research, it was found that necessity drives urgency and achievement. When you have the strong need to get to your flight on time, you focus on doing everything that you need to do. Where in your life have you faced necessity in the past? In my own life, it was necessity for survival that led me to solve several very serious challenges that helped me to discover the secrets to a successful life that I now share with others. Often our challenges actually push us and fuel our desire for something more or better and encourage us to achieve more. You may now see that your challenges offer more benefits than you may have ever realized.
Avoid Asking How You Will Achieve this Goal
When you ask “how” in your mind, you are actually coming from a place of not knowing. This again is a place of lack compared to a place of knowing and trust. This creates a very different energy and one that will stop you from achieving your goals. Even if you think you know how you are going to achieve your goals, do not put the how in the actual goal statement. By defining how you will achieve your goal upfront, you may block other solutions from coming to you. Open yourself up to the unexpected by not defining the how in the goal.
We will discuss listing out action steps later in this article. Taking action is still obviously a key ingredient in reaching your goals and achieving success. You must, however, take action from a place of positivity and this goal-setting methodology will ensure that to be so.
The Goal Should Feel Real or Somewhat Possible to Attain
For example, if I had a goal of being an NFL quarterback (or any NFL player for that matter), that would not feel natural or real to me. I do have a goal of creating a multimillion-dollar business and giving a sizable percentage of profits to charity each year because my son and business partner and I have a plan to do so. Is it going to be a stretch and take a ton of work? Yes. But we have a realistic plan to go after our stretch goal and we plan to attain it no matter what. Notice, though, if it is just a limiting belief that may be holding you back from feeling good about your goal. Positivity, passion, and commitment, of course, are key, instead of stress and struggle.
Does the goal make you feel expansive in your energy or do you feel contracted? When you feel expansive, then you are open to allow wonderful possibilities and opportunities to flow to you. Many of these will be quite unexpected but oh so positive. When you feel contracted, often because you don’t believe something is possible for you, then you are giving off an energy of resistance that will inevitably block solutions and opportunities from coming your way. This is the core concept of Stressless Success. By eliminating stressful resistance, you achieve more success. When you work with me directly or attend one of my workshops, I will teach you how to do this in a way that is truly lasting and will get you results.
When you live in this more expansive way, as opposed to stressing and struggling, then you not only experience more success but life becomes far more enjoyable and more fulfilling. Living in an open way and allowing things to flow with ease is also better for your physical and emotional health and creates, as I’ve been known to say, “a truly rich life,” because you begin to live more from the level of your soul rather than just your ego. It is when you see beauty and value in everything, even the daily “challenges,” that you begin to see everything as the true gifts they are.
For my online course and live workshops and retreats, I like to take my students through an exercise. Instead of thinking about how you’re going to achieve your goals, think about and write down why you want to achieve each goal. This is one of the most important parts that nobody discusses. Keep peeling back the layers and boil your whys all the way down until you get to the feeling place. For example, if you have the goal of envisioning a new house for your family, you may find that actually you are after the feeling of comfort and security.
Once you identify the feeling that you are after, then write how you will feel when each goal is achieved. Imagine and get the feeling as if the goal is already achieved. This sounds simple, and because it is, you may gloss over this very important point. This is the part of goal setting that everyone I’ve ever heard speak or write about the topic completely misses. This is not a mind game; it is a feeling game, which I explain much deeper in my book, Stressless Success. This aspect of my goal-setting strategy is more powerful than you could ever imagine.
What does it feel like to achieve your goals? What does success feel like to you? If it is more money that you are wanting, then what does it feel like to have more? Is it a sense of freedom? Are you living in a prison cell right now or do you have some freedom in your life? Focus on the freedom and the feeling that it offers. Even if you are in a prison cell (or feel like you are), you always have the ultimate power to choose your thoughts, which is ultimate freedom. Appreciate the freedom that you have today and more things that bring you more feelings of freedom, such as money, will come flowing into your life.
Review Your List Daily
The reason why I want you to get to the feeling place is that I then want you to practice visualization as if the goal has already been achieved and get the feeling as if it is. What does that feel like? By getting the exhilarating feeling as if your goal has already been achieved, this changes your energy and attracts what you want into your life more easily. For example, you will not attract a new lover if you are feeling anger, fear, and guilt. Or, you will attract the wrong kind of lover. I explain the science behind the power of your energy further in my book and workshops.
Again, write your goals in the present tense as if they have already been achieved, write down why, and then write down the feeling you will feel or already feel as you imagine that goal as being already achieved. Give yourself a deadline too, if possible.
Now that you have your list of goals so creatively and expertly defined, Brian Tracy suggests that you read those to yourself twice every single day. I would like to add that you read them out loud to yourself because when you hear yourself saying the words, it has an even greater impact on your brain pathways. Remember to imagine the goal achieved until you can feel it and read your list of feelings after each goal. Keep the list somewhere convenient so that when you remember to review them, they are on hand easily.
The next key step in this strategy is to take your most important goals, and on another sheet of paper, write 20 positively inspired action steps you may take toward achieving each goal. This is a directive from Brian Tracy. You must plan to take action each and every day toward those goals if you truly want to achieve them. I like to recommend further that you get quiet first, take a few deep breaths to clear your mind, and let the action steps flow onto the paper as if they are coming from your inner guidance or somewhere greater than your physical body. Allow each step to generate ideas on the next and the next. Again, don’t be rigid about defining exactly how you are going to achieve the goal but brainstorm ideas of positive, forward-moving action that may even lead you toward other even better ideas.
Then take a few of those action steps and put them on your daily planner each day as high-priority items that must get done. Again, deadlines really help here too. In High Performance teachings, we stress the importance of setting uninterrupted block times (usually around 50 minutes or so) into each day where you will spend focused time on your top three high-priority goals of the day that will lead you to accomplishing one or more of the goals on your list.
It is so helpful to turn off your phone and shut down email and of course turn off the TV so that you focus completely on the important task that will drive you toward achieving your goals. Set an alarm on your phone so that you don’t even have to keep looking at the time to see where you are. Truly focus in an uninterrupted way and watch how much you get done in less time and, ultimately, how many of your goals you actually achieve. At the end of each block time, be sure to do energizing activities such as drink fresh water, move your body, and do some deep breathing to increase circulation and oxygen. Trust me, if you spend your day with this type of plan and follow it, you actually will end your day feeling energized instead of exhausted, which also helps you to feel great physically, mentally, and emotionally, and you are in a better position to achieve your goals!
And finally, one key to success is to be open and willing to revise as needed as you gain more clarity. Again, don’t become so rigidly focused on the precise things or the precise ways you will accomplish these things. The key is to get to the feeling place because when you are focused on the feeling more than the thing, even greater ideas and opportunities will flow to you like a river.
But wait! There is more to it than this.
So, you may do all of this but do you truly believe that it is possible for you? Are there repeating patterns that seem to keep blocking you from success? It is time to clear away any negative thoughts and feelings that stop you from living your best life. It is time to expand your thinking and your energy, to reach for a better life. It is the energy you put into today that creates your tomorrow, so together let’s uncover the underlying thoughts that are impacting your energy today.
Contact me to schedule your complimentary personal strategy session and begin living a life of Stressless Success: firstname.lastname@example.org
Secrets to Success
- Writing your goals will help you to gain clarity about what you actually want to achieve. Write down at least 10 goals covering all areas of your life based on what you would love if there were no limitations.
- Phrase them in the now or present tense as if they are already achieved.
- Never use a negative word of lack, such as the word want.
- Don’t put the how in the goal, but rather create a brainstorm list of at least 20 positive action steps for your most important goals on a separate sheet of paper.
- Begin each goal with a statement such as “I am” or “I have” or “I allow.”
- Each goal should feel somewhat real or attainable, even though they push you to be your best.
- Give each goal a deadline.
- Write why you want each goal and get to the feeling place on each. Write down how you feel as you imagine already achieving that goal. The key here is the energy shift that happens when you think about achieving the goal.
- Read all of this twice per day.
- Take action every day on a few high-priority items.
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